Script log-lines

I've been reading a lot of really bad scripts at work lately. Some of them start off really promising but just can't sustain the focus and momentum to make them work all the way through the end of the 3rd act. I'm not sure if this will be as entertaining as I envision, but I thought I'd post some quick log-lines of what I've read and passed on recently. My comments are in parenthesis.

1.) Three housewives leave their affluent community, with their suddenly catatonic neighbor and friend in tow, in hopes that a week-long vacation in the woods will snap her out of her daze. (Part of their plan is to have a lumberjack screw her back to life. Seriously. This was written by a man, by the way.)

2.) An overweight street-smart hooker in debt to a violent bookie locks her identical twin sister in the basement and takes over her life as a licensed psychologist in order to pay off her debt. (A fat hooker pretends to be a fat shrink... and gets away with it!!! Actually, I kinda liked this one but it would only have worked with Kirstie Alley and she's losing all her weight.)

3.) A professional Las Vegas poker player is blinded in an accident but then is witness to a murder he overhears and must use his skills of bluffing in order to stay alive. (Interesting concept, but then it turns out that the guy isn't really even blind. He was just pretending. Only the script never bothers to explain WHY he was pretending to be blind before he witnessed the murder. ARRRRRRGGHHH!!!! This is a script I threw across the room when I got to the end of it.)

4.) Best buds Joel (a ladies man) and Barry (a virgin) gain summer employment at an exclusive members-only Texas exotic-wildlife [tigers, rhinos, etc.] hunting ground but soon discover that the other employees are werewolves that feed on the hunters. (ummmmmm. o.k. I know this might sound sort of interesting but it came off waaaaayyy too Greenpeacey or Habitat For Humanity, cause at the end Joel and Barry quit running for their lives and decide to become werewolves and help the others continue to pick off the hunters.)

I passed on this next one awhile back, but I just HAVE to post it here.
5.) A woman grieving for her deceased daughter is haunted by the ghost of a child mistakenly buried alive during an early 20th century flu epidemic. (ok... the name of the ghost child in this script is ENZA. The title of the script was In Flew Enza. 'Nuff said.)

Comments

[Cblev]

Ouch.

All of them still sound better than Spring Break Shark Attack...

The flu script just needs a punchier name: Dire Rhea.

Cheers.

[chase hugstrom]

you either have the worst job or the best game of beyond balderdash ever. also, i request a great big game of beyond balderdash before i move.

[kerry]

OH.
MY.
GOD.

Dire Rhea. I love this one. I'm gonna make up a log line for it and post it in the kitchen. Title:DIRE RHEA. LOG LINE: Nurse Rhea Anderson skulks that halls of the Winterreed Convalescence Home at night injecting a circle of longlife friends with a formula that causes involuntary and permanent chronic bowel evacuations as revenge for tormenting her grandmother years before.

and yes Chase, Beyond Balderdash. Promise.

[Magnus]

"I've got this really hilarious movie title I made up while I was baked out of my skull last night, now I just have to make a story for it. So, I know it's gonna be about the flu and a girl named Enza and that this Enza girl has to come into something."

Yeah. Heavy internal monologuing. Man, some people need to be put out of their misery.

[conrad]

Do you read Query Letters I Love? If not, you should!

http://queryletters.blogspot.com/

[Buy Propecia Online]

lol I love you post!!!!

[Viagra Online]

All those 5 points makes me laugh a lot ! hahaha

[Collectors Stamps]

Do you have tips to do a good script? I want them with urgency.