MUGWUMP

TEST TIME

I highly recommend that you take this Jungian personality test.

It let me know that I am an ISFJ (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging) and I desire to be of service and to minister to individual needs - very loyal -- but that I WANT to be an ESFJ (the E is for Extroverted).

It also told me that I'm attracted to INFJs (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging) of which only 1.5% of the population happen to be. This may help to explain why I'm single.

Story #3: from Guestblogger Mike : Hooters

(Mike B. wrote this about our dining experience yesterday evening so I'm posting it for your enjoyment.)

I went to Hooters last night for the first time in my life. As anyone who knows me will concur, I don't belong at Hooters. I knew this before going of course, but it was still nice to have my prejudices against the Hooters type be validated. But no matter how out-of-sorts I felt last night, my gay friend Kerry probably felt that same feeling times ten. I may not be your classic Hooters Man, but at least I like chicks and football.

The decision process went something like this:
Me: I'm hungry.
Kerry: Me too, wanna go to Hooters?
Me: Uh, I've never been to Hooters.
Kerry: Me neither, wanna go?

And then all of a sudden it sounded like a fantastic idea so I said yes.

This naturally begs the question of, "why would a gay man suggest a place like Hooters?" Well you can ask him yourself if you like, but my guess is that he wanted to see if the world would explode when we stepped foot through the door.

We were served by an attractive girl named Raven who was very good at doing what she does, which is to make men in Bud Light t-shirts feel like they have the special attention of a hot chick. But Kerry and I clearly didn't know what to do when confronted with a professional flirter. All meal long she made flirty gestures and suggestive smiles, all in the name of large tips. And with each subsequent visit to our table, our discomfort increased exponentially. We squirmed in our seats and gave terse responses to her questions. I think I may have commented on something being "cute" as in "attractive", which was a great way to sabotage my own heterosexuality.

At the end of the meal, Raven asked if she could get us anything else.
"No thank you," we both replied.
"Are you suuuuure?" she insisted, again with that suggestive smile. We both looked at each other with expressions that asked what is the correct answer to this question?
"Uh no, we're fine. Thanks."
She walked away and Kerry leaned across the table to whisper, "I feel like I'm failing a test."

Give Something that Doesn't Cost a Thing

Please take a couple of minutes to visit the website for Operation Gratitude, a non-profit organization that is requesting people write letters of thanks or just a quick hello for servicemen or women who are stationed away from home for the holidays. You can also donate goods, but what they're really looking for right now are just letters. Under the bright red 'You Can Help!', click 'Individuals' and scroll down to #3 for instructions.

All I wants for Christmas

Here's a story about a pregnant Missouri woman who was slain and her 8 month fetus was taken and the authorities put out an Amber Alert to find the infant. It's a horrible scenario and the culprit is probably some yokel with a despondant, barren wife who made a Christmas wish to Santa/Jesus that they be blessed with a miracle baby so that then their lives would be perfect. That's my prediction anyways.

I'm just curious as to what the details were in this Amber Alert. "Attention! Be on the lookout for a man with a fetus. Distinguishing characteristics. 2 eyes, 10 fingers, 10 toes, Hair: Lanugo" Go ahead... look it up. I've been waiting 15 years to use that word.

Good catch, UK!

Why is a British newspaper covering this story about Censorship and Book Banning of so-called "gay" literature in American schools and not any prominent American news source?

Last week Gerald Allen, a Republican Representative from Alabama, introduced a bill that would ban the use of state funds to purchase any literature or other materials that "promote homosexuality". Literature like "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" or Alice Walker's "The Color Purple." When, oh when, will we gather en masse and cry out for this stupidity to end?

Again, I re-assert my call for members of the gay and lesbian community to STOP apologizing for our prescence in a straight society, to END our quiet grousing about how we're being scapegoated for the moral decline of America, and instead BEGIN to actively indoctrinate and convert.

Did I say 'convert"? I mean "educate".

C is for Confused, that's good enough for me.

I love the look on George W's face in this photo from Dec. 6 when he posed with Sesame Street characters during a children's Christmas reception in the White House. It reminds me of when you take a toddler to sit on Santa's lap for the first time and the tyke can't quite comprehend what he's seeing so he just stares in amazement and wonder. It's either that or George is actually talking to the muppet. Either way, pretty good stuff there.

A difference in perspective

Click to Enlarge. A friend posted this on his blog, I liked it, so I'm nicking for you all to see.

Is It Bigger Than A Breadbox?

This has been making the rounds.

Notice the uncomfortable look on the Queen's face. Notice the smirk of the guard on her right. You might want to click the pic to inlarge it just enough to know what he's smirking about.

Grumpiest Old Man

I've had a soft spot in my heart for George Carlin ever since I took Radio and Television Communications in college and our professor played Carlin's "7 Dirty Words" routine. He's always been sort of crotchety but his heart and head have always been in a good (insightful, reasonable) place and he's ALWAYS reliable for some smart laughs. Now he's starting to insult his audiences in Las Vegas which I'm not so sure is a good move. Shouldn't he be commending them for spending their money on an evening where they might actually THINK or come away with a lesson or two rather than blowing it on some one-armed bandits or twirling topless feather-headressed tarts? I know he's starting to get up there in age (67), but let's hope this isn't the beginning of the end.

Red and Blue come together

Last night I awoke at 2:17am to the sounds of my lesbian neighbors on the other side of my bedroom wall having extremely rough sex. Pounding, moaning, spanking, slurping in glorious, horrific, stereophonic sound.

To squelch the noise I turned on a repeat of Jay Leno's Tonight Show where the zoo-keeper from San Diego was showing off all sorts of exotic animals that were delighting and amusing his studio audience. For her finale, she brought out an American Bald Eagle and to my amazement, the crowd leapt to its feet and gave a standing ovation to this bird. A BIRD!!!

In that moment, with grunting lesbians on one side of me and a whooping, cheering, patriotic crowd on the other, I realized what a truly glorious but fucked-up country we live in.