The Most Indelicate Pollster Ever

On Saturday I went with my friends Mike and Erik to the Sunset Street Junction, which is essentially a big street fair where they close off Sunset Boulevard and have lots of crafts and food booths set up and three stages for bands to play live music all day.  It's also a great chance to people watch since there are lots of bohemian art types walking around and an even larger contingent of gay folk -- because as I told Erik "One gay pride event a year just isn't enough."

Anyway... Mike wanted a smoothie from one of the street vendor booths so while Erik and I were waiting for him to order, a guy holding a clipboard came up to us and asked if we would mind participating in a sexual history questionnaire (for whatever group he was representing).  Erik begged off and basically volunteered me so I stepped up and said "sure."

It began, "Are you gay?"

A: "Yes."

Q: "At what age did you first have sex?"

A: "23"

Q: "Have you ever had alcohol or drugs?"

A: "Yes"

Q: "How many times have you had anal sex in the last six months?"

A: "None."

Q: (thinking I've misunderstood) "No... in the last six MONTHS?"

A: "NONE."

Q: (STILL thinking I've misunderstood) "No... Top OR bottom?"

A: "NONE!"

Q: "Really??"

At this point my "certified homosexual" card was revoked...

so... Ladies, I'm ready to go!

Comments

[Ginja Ninja]

Maybe you should just become somehow fabulously rich and be able to pull a velvet cord. Which brings in a group of boys for you to select.

"I'll take number six!"

Or not. I mean if you were that rich you could do some good. Like hired a hitman to remove George Lucas and Steven Spielberg.

[Magnus]

Spielberg isn't THAT bad. Lucas would do.

of COURSE you're not a homosexual if you haven't been anal'd in six months! Everyone knows all gays are actively involved in promiscuous groups of other gays who join up every day to have constant, loud, gay anal sex. With gay people. Anally. Preferably also including some drugs. And some gay dudes. With cocks. In arseholes. Anally.

You gays are always so naughty and fixated on sex! Stop it!

The thing is that I fear a lot of people think that way, and that may well be the very reason many people are afraid of homos. Because they think they're sexual predators who would fuck you as soon as look at you.