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« "Inadvertently humorous"? | Main | Movie stuff »

September 13, 2005


The American Mastodon

"Kerry, I have to talk with you before this gets out of hand. You and I are friends and that's all we're ever going to be."

Before what gets out of hand? Were you stalking her? What the hell? That's an amazingly pretensious, self-absorbed thing to say. I would have slapped her filthy little mouth.

"Hi, how are you. Before you get to know me better and discover that I am a beautiful person, and before I utterly destroy your heart, I want to let you know that I'm not attracted to you, and would rather continue our further relationship in a way that maintains this currently platonic tone. I hope you don't kill yourself, but I can understand if you do, as I am so fucking gorgeous and amazing. Goodbye!"


Well... see there...? I think you would have been much better equipped to handle the news. Besides, I was sort of grasping at straws trying to hold onto the thought that I was straight. It was definitely about more than just her, so yeah, what with the desperation and all, she could have easily been fed up with the unwanted attention.
I think you're being a bit harsh... especially since I wrote that she said "something like".... I'd be amazed if I actually remembered word for word what she said to me fifteen years ago.


I think it seems like a good thing to do of her. Y'know, spare you the trouble of becoming, like you said, stalkery. Very nice. And I can well imagine how desperate you must have seemed, what with not only being very infatuated with her, but also on the verge of homosexuality. It seems like "almost-gays" are even MORE heterosexual than most regular heteros. Or maybe I'm confused. I dunno.

Great story as always, though. Some good technique there, too. Holding out on the poo detail, for example. I know you're probably aware of this already, but I thought I'd mention it.

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