MUGWUMP

Film '05 Recap

So as I type this it's New Year's Eve and about two hours from midnight here in Los Angeles. Not sure quite yet if I'll be screaming "Happy New Year" in a crowd of people, or with Jimmy and Mike, or just watching something on the t.v. by myself. You never know what can happen in a couple of hours and I was completely remiss about making solid plans for this evening... so who knows?

Anyway... while I wait to see if something will materialize, I thought I might as well list my top films of 2005... because I've been keeping a mental checklist and figured I should get it out of my head to make room for other trivial and sundry thoughts.

GRIZZLY MAN - It's the OTHER comedy documentary of the year (the first being The Aristocrats).

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN - Still haven't stopped thinking about poor old Ennis Del Mar.

ME AND YOU AND EVERYONE WE KNOW - First time I'd ever heard of the writer/director Miranda July... and I'm hoping her follow-up works the same kind of magic as this one did.

BROKEN FLOWERS - For me, this was the philosophical film of the year in that "Who Are We?" kind of way. You think you know someone, then you meet the people from their past and realize they are a hell of a lot more complicated than you'd ever give them credit for.

MYSTERIOUS SKIN - Great performances and a real honesty in dealing with sexual child abuse. My friend Brady is in this one, but even if I didn't know him, I'd still put it on my list, so there!

THE SQUID AND THE WHALE - The most realistic divorce movie I've ever seen (and the only other two I can think of are Kramer Vs. Kramer and War of the Roses). Jeff Daniels will get nominated for this one.

CAPOTE - More of an examination of ambition, trust and betrayal than a standard bio-pic movie... and Hoffman will get nominated for this one.

THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN - Funniest film of the year. No contest. Watched it again on DVD last night. Twice. In a row.

GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK - George Clooney is my new hero. I want to go into business with him.

Honorable mentions: Munich, The Aristocrats, Serenity

Mike and Jimmy are headed over so I'll wrap this up. Happy New Year!!

Mind Control at work

I was reading an article in the paper today and it used (accurately) the word "environmentalist" and before I knew it, it had conjured up this image in my mind of some NUT in the woods chained to a giant redwood. I had to stop and curse myself for allowing myself to have gone there.

Really, when you get down to it, shouldn't we ALL want to be considered "environmentalists"? I mean, it SHOULD be a virtue, right??? "Don't shit where you eat", ya know? But the framers on the right have successfully tained the word so it has become something only a radical or extremist would be comfortable with it being used as a descriptor of themselves.

So... I am going to re-read a Christmas gift I got last year and I highly recommend anyone who agrees with me to pick it up and read it as well. It's called "Don't Think of an Elephant" by George Lakoff whose expertise is in language and cognitive linguistics. He explains How language is framed to argue a debate... but more importantly... it lets you understand WHY those who hold beliefs differently than yours can believe that they are right and you are wrong. It's amazing and light-shedding. I promise it will help to restore your sanity and makes sense of those "what the HELL are they thinking???" thoughts you have. (and you can get it used for under $5)

Merry Christmas!

You're a Mean One, Pope Benedict

Ok... here is the picture unaltered.

Yep... that's the new Pope all decked out in a Christmas Santa hat to bring joy and cheer to all the little catholic children around the world.

If my parents plopped me on this guy's lap and he said "What do YOU want for Christmas, little boy?" I'd have to say "a new religion!"

Anyway... I saw the pic and immediately thought "GRINCH" so here's my rudimentary photoshopping skills at work. ALL I did was add some color:

Scary, eh?

This and That

So my friend Erik was upset with me for dropping off the face of the earth and not updating the blog. He thought maybe I'd succumbed to the anesthesia during the surgery... but nope. Still here.

It's been a weird couple of weeks. What with the holidays here, and me prepping to move to a new place (out of the Valley and into L.A. proper) and dealing with THE LIP. The doctor says it's going great and he's very pleased with himself (and I do have to admit, it is better than it was) but I still get down whenever I'm washing my face at night and catch myself in the mirror. I think it's the fact that there's no feeling in my upper lip and the nerves will have to regrow before the numbness fades... and that will take a couple of years it they do... so that sets me off to thinking about I wasn't mentally ready to have my kisses stolen away so suddenly. So I let myself go for a minute or so and get it all out, then think to myself that it's not like I've lost a hand or a leg or half of my entire face or something. In short, I'm better about it this week than I was last, and hopefully next week I can say the same thing.

I'm self-conscious about people looking at me, mainly because at the very least, it looks like a horrible cold-sore or a flare up of herpes or something -- and who wants that? -- so I've been hiding away a bit.

I did make it out to see both King Kong and Brokeback Mountain... and one had a terribly sad ending and the other was long and boring. Can you guess which is which? Kong did have its moments -- and they were fantastic moments -- but they were too few to keep me from checking my watch several times. Naomi Watts was stellar whenever it was just her and Kong... it's a shame they didn't CG the entire cast for her to act off of.

About Brokeback I want to say that I think Heath Ledger is amazing. I went into the movie not liking him at all. Mainly because in every interview I'd seen him give he never failed to say something like, "Did I mention I met my wife and mother of my child, Michelle Williams, on the set of this movie??" To me it just sounded like it was code for "I AM STRAIGHT. No matter what you print from this interview, make sure you get that part in." Heath seems like the kind of guy that I don't want to meet in person. He has this "I'm so cool" vibe (whether intentional or not) mixed with what seems like a complete lack of a sense of humor that intimidates the hell out of me. Maybe I'm wrong... but that's what I'm picking up. It's a crime if he doens't win a zillion awards, just don't make me give any of them to him.

Lip Fix

So... if'n ya care.  I go in for surgery on Tuesday morning at 7:30am.  They are going to take a thumb sized piece of skin from the inside of my mouth and graft it to my lip.  Then, in a couple of months, they'll inject my new piece of lip with some tissue to contour it and stuff.

I was kind of hoping they use a piece of skin from my ass or my dick... just so... well... It would just add so much more meaning to those casual greetings here in L.A. with kisses on the cheek and all.

Oh... and I can't wait to see Brokeback Mountain.  Here's "The Straight Dude's Guide" to watching it.

Bite Me

So I went to meet my friend Rob who is visiting from Vegas last Friday night and he was staying with a friend who has a couple of dogs.  They were both friendly type dogs and as I knelt down to say hi to the more hyper of the two, he snapped up and grabbed my nose and lip with his teeth.   I immediately cupped my hands to my face and felt the blood start to flow, so I ran to the bathroom and held my head over the sink and saw in the mirror that I was missing a small chunk of lip.  Rob and his friend were mortified and I was just sort of in shock and although we tried to find the missing piece of flesh, I think the dog probably kept it.

So... Instead of going out for drinks like we'd planned, we ended up spending Friday evening at the emergency room where I received 5 stitches in my nose.  The doctor looked at my lip and referred me to a plastic surgeon, who I saw today.  Today's doctor took one look at me and said reassuring things like "Hmmmn.  This is gonna be tricky", "several procedures", "might have to sew your tongue to the lip area" then after a few moments he referred me to another doctor who I'm supposed to see tomorrow.

Thankfully, the guy who owns the dogs has promised to cover the expenses.

I'm not really feeling too chipper about the whole thing right now and probably won't be going out in public much.  So..., think good thoughts for me that this will end sooner rather than later. 

Seacrest... sucks.

"John Belushi"

I was driving in to work this morning listening to one of the final Stern shows.  Don't know if you listen to Howard or not, I can usually take about 15 or 20 minutes of him before it gets old, but this morning his comedy writer Artie Lang was telling them about the time this girl in a bar thought he was Andy Richter (Conan O'Brien's former sidekick), and that he didn't correct her because she "LOVED" Andy Richter and he wanted to continue making out with her.

Anyways... it reminded me of the time in '96 when I was driving through Colorado with Bill Murray, and we stopped at a rest stop which was also one of those scenic view places and as I came out of the restroom, I saw that Bill was beseiged by a bunch of excited Asian tourists who were taking turns having group pictures taken with him.  I figured, "Oh... Bill must be big in Japan".  I stood back and watched until finally Bill begged off, tiring of having so many pictures taken, and started heading for the car.  The asian tourists waved goodbye and as they passed me I guess one of the members of their group wasn't quite in the know of exactly who it was they'd just been photographed with because I heard him asking the others in a whisper (even though I didn't understand what he was saying). 

"John Belushi", one of them said, to much murmuring agreement.